I almost didn't post the first part of this. Idk why but I'm almost embarrassed. I'm ashamed in a way that I had this dream and that I keep having these thoughts even when I'm not dreaming. I know it's probably annoying to my friends, and sometimes I really hate myself for it. But hey...
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I had a dream last night that felt so real… when I rolled over in my bed and realized I had no ring on my ring finger, I nearly cried.

Benjy came home. He was back from Afghanistan and was in Cali but came to Elyria to see me. He said he wanted to show me something and pulled out a little black box. He opened it, and it was a ring. I didn't think much on it. He immediately said it was Dani;s. He told me about how he and Dani were divorced now. They don't own anything together, no money together, so it was easy to just sing the paperwork and be done. We were sitting in my yard, talking, and he was saying a bit about how he's missed me. Nothing heavy, just simple basic stuff.

He put the box away, then pulled out another one… with a different, beautiful ring inside. I asked what this was, though was already holding my breath a little. He told me, "this is your ring… if you'll have it. Stephanie, I want you to be my wife. This is how it was suppose to be. Will you marry me?" I started crying, staring at the wring, then up at him. I started nodding and finally managed to say yes. He pulled the ring from the box and slipped it onto my finger. It was so beautiful.. I remember almost every detail. I then hugged him and finally got to kiss him again.

It suddenly jumped to a building and I think we were somewhere where he was like, teaching or something. I remember he walked in and told everyone that he just got engaged. They clapped, and he came into the hall to get me. Before I came inside, it bounced again.

We were in the yard again. I had a moment to myself and began thinking. I thought about what my parents would think. What this would mean for my future. What it would mean about school. I also thought about Alex, and how I would tell him, and even felt a little guilty because we'd just started talking so much.

The dream ended. I woke up and rolled over. I remember I was smiling and didn't fully realize what was going on. I reached for my left hand, felt my ring finger, and suddenly froze. There was nothing there. I didn't wear my rings to bed last night so it wasn't even just the wrong ring. There was nothing. I have never felt so empty.

I went back to sleep and had a few different dreams. All the Gossip Girl people were in some giant vehicle thing waiting for me. Luke from ATWT was there, and so was Ally from the same show. Ally apparently liked Luke? Which is dumb cause she knows he's gay xD And something about she was the doctor who had to check his ear for some infection because if he had it then he had something else and something something. Idk. We were tricking him. He came with us all and I sat down next to Chuck, who kind of groaned about why I was bringing them. I told him to hush and explained. He didn't seem to care, but let them come anyway. At some point Luke talk Ally how she's like a wonderful older sister to him. It made her sad.

Later, I was shopping somewhere. I had a party or a dance or something coming up and needed a cool outfit. I ran into Jenny Humphrey. We started talking, she helped me find stuff. We talked and she was pretty cool. I even helped her find stuff =] See? I have good taste. Just not the bod or the paycheck to show it xD

Through both dreams I kept glancing at my hand, not even meaning to actually look at my hand. Maybe I was looking at something on a table and my hand was next to it, little things, and kept thinking for a split second that I saw a very basic diamond ring on my finger, and frowning when I looked again and it would be gone. The first dream lingered into my other dreams that came after waking up and going back to sleep…

I have no idea what this means. It has officially made things so much more confusing. Blah.